To try and describe a mother’s love for their child is simply beyond me being able to put down in words, it’s more of a feeling, an emotion, an indescribable mixture of so many different things, something quite special.
Meg and I were of course mother and daughter, but as she blossomed into this amazing young lady, that was loved by so many, we became a little bit more, we became best friends.
We worked together, went out together, went to concerts together (Westlife about 10 times !!), we were there for one another, hospital appointments, shopping, the list is endless, some say we were joined at the hip, but together we were able to achieve things in no time at all, things that would normally take 10 people to achieve in the same amount of time, yet Me and Meg were a special team.
Megan had her problems, she was profoundly deaf, but, Fraser and I were determined to raise her as a hearing child that simply couldn’t hear. Her confidence grew and grew and what was once a shy little girl had grown in to an amazing young lady that would eventually run the local rugby club bar, of which, could put fear into many, but not Meg, you see Meg got on with things, she was a doer.
She counted the days till her 18th birthday party but tragically she died 9 days before her big night, for once a night that would be all about her and for once, Meg would have been the centre of attention.
The feeling when losing Megan was one of totally disbelief and a helplessness that as a mother there was nothing I could do, no knees to kiss and make better, no cuddles to make everything right, all I had was nothingness and that’s one of the things that as a mother is impossible to feel, the feeling of not being able to do anything.
We know that Meggie would not want us to sit and cry night after night, but that’s exactly what we did and often do, we miss her so much, but now we must try to help others that may find themselves in the same “pit of despair”, just as Megan would have done and would have wanted us to do.
If you need someone to listen to you, or someone to talk to, some one that you have never met before, then call me because “I know”. XXX
Jane Brooks – Mother
Tuesday 3rd of May 2011 was just another ordinary day, Jane and I had set off to work, Ollie had gone to school and Megan was getting ready to go to her little job at the local rugby club to sell teas and coffees to parents and spectators at a schools rugby tournament. At 1.30pm our world had collapsed and our lives would change forever, as our beautiful daughter Meg totally and unexpectedly died on the landing within the clubhouse.
The next few days and even weeks we just sat on the sofa staring in disbelief at one another, clinging onto the hope that it was all a mistake, a bad dream and that Megan, in her own special way, would walk straight in, or send me a text to come and get her…. It never happened.
It was at this point that I desperately needed to see someone, not a doctor or a counsellor, but another mother or father that had experienced what we were going through, to see if we would ever get stronger again.
We knew that we would never get better but needed to know that we might one day be able to do things like eat again, wash, get dressed, would we ever laugh again, all those things I had taken for granted, that now seemed so impossible.
Try as we could, we couldn’t find anyone and Jane, Ollie and I held on to each other wishing it was all a mistake, but as each sympathy card and text arrived, this confirmed that we would never ever see our precious daughter again.
We then had the harrowing task of trying to plan for Megan’s service and somehow deal with all of the sad but real details that needed to be dealt with. We wanted it to be special, not over the top as Meg was not that type of a girl, but a Pink coffin (her favourite colour), Balloons, a couple of limousines, a round or two of sandwiches at our local pub, as a thank you to those that had been so kind and supportive since Megan’s passing.
No parent should ever have to consider putting a few pounds away each month in case they should lose a child, a holiday maybe, but not for this. The cost of Megan’s service came to approximately £6000, a sum of money that neither Jane or I had anything close too. Parents and friends helped out but, it was then it dawned on Jane and I, that there were three things we desperately needed, one, we just wanted Megan back, two, the desperate need to see someone who had been through what we were going through and three, the real yet sad fact that for a child of a certain age there is no financial help available to deal with those things that need to be dealt with, things we take for granted like shopping, even to the point of how/who pays the mortgage should they be self employed and not able to face work for many, many weeks to come.
And so in honour of our simply wonderful daughter Meg, You raise me up was formed, to help with what some might say are the little things, yet in truth, at the time are massive… ( by the way she was Westlife’s biggest fan) x
Fraser Brooks – Father